Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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