I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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