You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
