Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
