Got a toothbrush?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
