I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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