i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
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he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
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of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How naked do you want me to be?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.