the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
