Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he shaved USA in his pubs
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize