Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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