I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
