As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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