Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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