Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
