My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
