Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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