I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
