they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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