you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
