Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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