Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
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Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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