Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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