Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
