that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
