Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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