careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
