Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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