I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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