Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize