my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
