my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I FOUND THE LEGS
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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