new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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