just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
