You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
