He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
