Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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