I think I am morally bankrupt
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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