That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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