According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
