she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think i have two assholes
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
