ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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