hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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