The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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