Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
