He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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