between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize