Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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