What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
