so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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