He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
