I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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