I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
