I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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