my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
