Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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