k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
