i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
